The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
