it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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