ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
