I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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