I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
