Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
