he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
