that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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