Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
