the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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