I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
