did you get engaged???
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening