remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
