You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
