I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?