Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance

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  (401): The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance http://tfl.nu/1kat
  Replies (22) Good night (3685) Bad night (764)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

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  (713): I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't. http://tfl.nu/hscn
  Replies (5) Good night (1716) Bad night (556)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?

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  (617): is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again? http://tfl.nu/0m4c
  Replies (13) Good night (2691) Bad night (601)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b
  Replies (27) Good night (1394) Bad night (9122)
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  (818): View more from California

  I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter

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  (818): I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter http://tfl.nu/u1op
  Replies (24) Good night (7082) Bad night (880)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.

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  (614): We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/ox7r
  Replies (47) Good night (10753) Bad night (796)
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6498) Bad night (1271)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.

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  (402): Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples. http://tfl.nu/nrga
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (2311)
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  (631): View more from New York

  4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.

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  (631): 4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised. http://tfl.nu/mwr8
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (2013)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.

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  (312): I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other. http://tfl.nu/w5qg
  Replies (20) Good night (1820) Bad night (752)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
  Replies (12) Good night (514) Bad night (979)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.

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  (203): You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you. http://tfl.nu/720l
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (842)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I was 5 years younger and single...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

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  (508): If I was 5 years younger and single... (413): She STILL wouldn't fuck you. http://tfl.nu/p2kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1250) Bad night (739)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.

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  (516): I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams. http://tfl.nu/a235
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (290)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....

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  (503): I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea..... http://tfl.nu/kqab
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (841)

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