And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
