ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize