are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
