My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
