she was so not down for the gang bang
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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