his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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