another moral hangover. fuck.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
