To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
