I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
