This girl is more easily done than said...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you never un-have a 4some
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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