Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
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