singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.