Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I swear she didn't look like that last week.

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  (214): I swear she didn't look like that last week. http://tfl.nu/zofc
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (2390) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.

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  (406): my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick. http://tfl.nu/ik4i
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (1722) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

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  (440): Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue http://tfl.nu/47c2
  Replies (27) Good night (1181) Bad night (4922) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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  (318): Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume. http://tfl.nu/rs73
  Replies (31) Good night (4517) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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  (646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (1009) Bad night (3992) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes

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  (330): im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes http://tfl.nu/3pbg
  Replies (10) Good night (1154) Bad night (3401) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart

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  (502): We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart http://tfl.nu/qvlm
  Replies (6) Good night (1882) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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  (203): Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day http://tfl.nu/dgax
  Replies (23) Good night (1689) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.

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  (319): I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine. http://tfl.nu/o11z
  Replies (7) Good night (1281) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (517) Bad night (2912) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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  (845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi
  Replies (8) Good night (1565) Bad night (365)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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  (418): I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC http://tfl.nu/grmc
  Replies (12) Good night (669) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.

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  (619): Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted. http://tfl.nu/mj8h
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.

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  (416): okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food. (647): Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40. http://tfl.nu/dr99
  Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (414)

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