I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.