I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.