We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Never let your siblings swipe right.