Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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