At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
