All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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