Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize