His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You took a bar mat shot.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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