Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
