Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
