What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
