party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone shit on the floor
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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