This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
