I'm so fucking centered right now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
