why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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