summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
