we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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