Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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