This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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