thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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