Me too!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
