You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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