Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
is it fun? or sober?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
