he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
