You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
