How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
