please come you make the beer taste better
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
