Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
whose ass print is on the piano?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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