I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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