That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
