Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize