Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
