Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize