I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
