only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
