Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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