So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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