Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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