After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
