that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
