You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize