I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
