It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
