that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is my gift to your gina
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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