I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
