she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i have herpe
just one?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
